Tag: life updates

Maternity Leave Goals

I am so behind on so much – I need to post my decade wrap up, my 30th birthday, my 30 before 30 review, but with 2021 nearly over (HOW, I still think it’s early 2020), I want to make sure I’m focused on accomplishing specific things before my year of mat leave ends.

Living in the UK means I get a year off for maternity leave. This is a HUGE opportunity, and one I never expected to have growing up in the US. However I do feel a bit nervous about taking a year away from my career, so there are things I want to accomplish while I’m out of the office and be able to return with an improved CV, and then a few other things I want to do to improve my quality of life.

  • Finish my MPH. Somehow I’m in my last year! When I first started, the idea of it taking four years to complete felt never ending. And now here we are! I have three courses left, and I’m really excited about two of them. Last year I took a Public Health focused class on infectious diseases (so interesting in times of COVID) and I loved it. So this year I’m taking an epidemiology focused infectious disease class, much more challenging but I figured I should follow my interests while I still have the chance. I’m also taking one on medical anthropology which I’m also super excited to learn more about. And then I can return to work with my masters!
  • Get conversational (or stretch goal/dream, to a professional level) in Spanish. Something mega exciting that I’ve been planning way, way before we even conceived, is to spend a few months in Spain during the mat leave taking intensive Spanish classes. I was shocked by how quickly I picked up some basic French after just two weeks of intensive lessons in Montpellier, so hopefully after a few months of them in Spain I’ll be much better at Español! We’ve already booked our accommodation, more details on this exciting move coming soon! 
  • Become a trustee at a charity. There are a few charities I really admire and think I could offer my experience to their board. This is a bit intimidating as a young, mid-level woman instead of an older, high level white man, but I have submitted my first application (to a charity I’m very passionate about and that truly feels like a perfect fit) and I got an interview. Them being interested enough to interview me is a great confidence boost and will definitely help inspire me to keep applying until I’m successful.
  • Get my driving license! I am SO desperate for this one! I have driven since I was 16, but not since I moved to the UK. And wow do I miss the freedom of having my own car. I’ve had to rely on Gareth for so much, and I am sooo excited to have a bit more independence. I’m going to book a week of intensive lessons to get comfortable driving on this side of the road (and to get used to the much smaller lanes) hopefully while my mom is here in December to watch Iris.
  • Become a UK citizen! Next June I’ll have lived here for 5 years and be eligible for citizenship. I don’t love not being a citizen of the country where my daughter was born and will live for the foreseeable, especially post-Brexit. I have pre-settled status at the moment which means I can leave for 2 years and still return, but any longer than that and I’d have to get a visa.
  • Volunteer more. It’s so hard to volunteer working full time, especially doing a part time masters, but I hopefully I’ll be able to fit in a bit more during this year.
  • Do the Strong as a Mother course. Gareth’s gym has a postpartum programme that I want to complete to help me get back to normal. Pregnancy and birth was really hard on my body and I’ve been really weak and out of shape for nearly a year now. I’ve had a lot of postpartum complications and I just want to feel healthy and healed and capable again.

I have no idea if I’m being way too ambitious for a year with a new baby, but we’ll see what I can get done!

 

Fløyen Mountain, Bergen, Norway

Trying to Conceive Part 2

Our Third Pregnancy

After our second loss, we again had an off cycle where we didn’t conceive. I was honestly mostly relieved because the thought of ever going through another loss was too much, and I struggled to imagine a pregnancy that didn’t end in one. I was also now on medication from ovulation until either negative test or 14 weeks of pregnancy, and I was happy to get to stop it for a bit. Fun experience, the first day I took all the medication, my entire body started burning and turned bright red. I was in an uber to A&E before the clinic called me back and confirmed it was totally normal and okay. It continued to happen every day for the next 6 weeks!

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Trying to Conceive

This is going to be a vulnerable post about our experience trying to conceive because I think too often the journey goes unsaid, leaving women to feel totally alone in the process when it’s not as easy as they expected at the start. It’s also long and emotional, because there isn’t anywhere this is all recorded and I want to remember the details. That said, I know a lot of people had far more difficult journeys than us, and we are very lucky to be pregnant.

In April I decided to have my IUD removed so we could start trying, right after COVID struck. Everything went into lockdown and I couldn’t find anyone who would remove it, as it wasn’t an essential service. I called all over the country, tried multiple times to do it myself (I don’t recommend), and finally found a clinic who would do it. Luckily this was right before I was set to start my period, and though I didn’t have much hope for a first month conception, I was so excited to know we were really trying!

I immediately did everything I could to help our chances. I logged my temperature religiously every morning, took OPK tests to monitor ovulation, and timed intercourse pretty constantly through our fertile window.

I didn’t think I’d stress the first few months, and I didn’t. In my head I expected it to take about four months, so that was kind of where I was focusing.

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Karen Blixon House, Nairobi, Kenya

We’re Having a Baby!

The most exciting news I’ve ever been able to share – we are expecting a baby girl to join our family this summer!

We didn’t have the easiest road (nor the most difficult!) – which I’ll get into in another post, but suffice to say we could not be more relieved to be just over 18 weeks along and finally able to believe it’s real!

We’ve already starting collecting some used baby things, and seeing the little clothes and furniture is really mind boggling.

We’re already counting down the days until we get to meet you, little one!

Glacier National Park

Masters of Public Health Update

I am halfway through my MPH!

Due to COVID the format of this year was really different. It worked out really well, actually. I had to take four exams and do two papers. Last year I had three exams and it was brutal, doing four would have been rough. However, this year the exams were open book and we could take them anytime in a three week window. Once downloaded, we had 48 hours to upload the completed exam. Being able to spread everything out, focus on one thing at a time, and split the three questions over two days was amazing. 

So I likely have two years left. In those two years I’ll have to do a project (apparently the equivalent of 300 hours of work), three more exams and four more papers. Though I don’t love the online format (I love a classroom), and if I had taken a year off from work I could have gotten it done in just a year, having the end anywhere in sight is such a fantastic feeling. I being able to progress in my career whilst obtaining my masters is really invaluable. I honestly feel so lucky flexible learning like this is an option!

Flat Tour!

We moved into our flat back in early November, but due to engagements and 30th birthdays and the holidays, we are really only now getting properly settled in. Our sofa arrived just after we got back from the states, we ordered a dryer(!) and are trying to figure out how to make the kitchen more our style (TBC).

There’s so much work to do, but here is what we’ve done so far!

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We Put a Ring on It!

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A few weeks ago, on a random Wednesday night when we were home painting the living room, Gareth asked me to marry him. It was very sweet and homey and low key and perfect.

We drank some wine we’d been saving since our trip to South Africa a few year ago and spoke with family and friends and celebrated for most of the night.

Because I convinced Gareth he has terrible taste while selecting decor for our new place, he bought me a place holder ring so we can design one together. And though he has terrible taste in home décor, the ring he chose was perfect. We’re going this Friday to meet with a jeweller to select the permanent one, but the one he proposed with will be something I wear and treasure forever.

Now onto planning the wedding!

We Bought a Flat!

Back in June, right after my first year of exams for my masters, we started looking at flats for sale. Since I came back from Madagascar in April, we had been living in a pretty small flat with a friend from university. She was very gracious to let me move in unexpectedly, but I think we were all looking forward to having a bit more space and being able to live alone with our partners. We saw five or six properties, but from the time I saw our flat listed, I knew it was the one. We rushed out to see it, and on the drive home put in an offer. It was exciting! It was terrifying! Would they accept?? Was it a mistake? Buying property is a huge and scary financial commitment! The next day we were asked to up it a bit, and then it was official! We were in the process of buying a flat!

What I quickly learned is that buying in the UK is very different from the US in a few ways. Mainly, there is nothing quick about it. We were in a bit of a race to close before Gareth officially inherited his mom’s house, because here you pay something called stamp duty, which is a tax on all property bought. It goes up based on the cost of the property and it goes up significantly if it’s a second property.

Another big difference is that being under offer is not binding. Either side can pull out at any moment and there’s no consequence. In the US, being under offer is a bit of a reassurance – it’s unlikely it will fall through and you can feel okay about spending time and money on a solicitor to handle the purchase, do the inspection, etc. Here, someone could come in at any point in the process and put in an offer above yours – this is called “gazumping” and is really common. Our offer was contingent on the flat being removed from all the websites.

The last major difference is that here you buy property in a “chain.” In the US, you buy a property and sell your property independent of each other. Here, we weren’t selling, but our sellers were buying a new place, putting us in a chain of three. Us, our sellers, and their sellers. We all had to exchange contracts on the same day. So though our sale was ready to go through, we had another week of delay because there was a problem with the sale between our sellers and their new property.

On average the whole process takes about four months, and the fact that anyone can pull out at any time, someone could be gazumped, or an issue further down the chain could disrupt the entire process means that about one in three sales falls through in the UK.

Knowing this made it so. hard. to. wait. We really wanted this place, and after a few months we definitely didn’t want to have to start over or to have to pay for any of the many costs that go into buying a place again.

Luckily, we came in right at the average! It took us about four months, and we closed November 4th.

Masters of Public Health First Year

I passed all three of my exams for the first year of my masters!!

This was a rough stretch of time. I haven’t been a student in nearly a decade and I legit forgot how to study. And this time I did it with a new, full time job!

I started waking up at 5 am about six weeks before exams and studying, studying during my lunch break, studying on weekends. Just so much studying! And the morning of my hardest exam I found a leftover gift from Madagascar – a huge worm! I took the exam and went straight to A&E to try to get deworming pills, but they kept me in for loads of tests and I ended up being there until about 2 am. It seriously threw off my study schedule – I had one exam left and it was my easiest one, so I hadn’t studied much at all. I seriously considered skipping it but luckily I did not and it was actually super easy. And now I’m done with my first year!

I have eight classes left – seven exams, six papers, and a huge project. It feels pretty daunting at the moment but eventually I’ll get there!

THIS SEASON

I haven’t done a non-travel update in so long, and I do love being able to look back at the different stages of life I’ve been through since starting this blog.

London

Still in London! The weather is still horrible, though last week it was magically beautiful and I suddenly remembered why I love this city so much. Hopefully that will only improve along with the weather.

We’ve moved into a new flat and I am honestly in love with my commute. I loved our old flat but felt like we were ages away from anything, and I was on the train about 2.5 hours every day getting to and from work (but man did I read a lot of books). Now I have a quite enjoyable 15 minute walk to Brixton, where I can hop on the tube (always get a seat as it’s the start of the line), and go straight into work. I look forward to it every day!

Our new flat is so great. The layout just makes so much sense for us (and has forced the cats and dog to get along), and I really love our neighbourhood.

I’m still at my job working in international sexual and reproductive health, and I still find it interesting and challenging and a real anchor to London – I worried it would feel like Gareth’s city I was visiting, but my job has given me a really distinct and separate purpose.

This weekend I leave for a hen do in Ibiza (my first time back to Spain since I said goodbye to Logrono), and then weddings the following two weekends.  Somehow, I have timed it exactly right, and am living in London when 90% of my UK based friends are getting married. It’s honestly the luckiest, most incredible timing, as I can do hen dos and engagement parties and all the weddings. It’s difficult having friends I love so spread out, and I am so grateful I get to be here for this season of celebration and love!

I’m looking towards the future and am not completely sure what it holds. I’m completely sure I don’t want to be an assistant forever. I miss Los Angeles, and also am maaaaaybe a little obsessed with babies. There’s still so much travel I want to do and things I want to learn, but I’m trying (with minimal success, haha) to stay present in the moment and not worry about the future too much.